Smooth Back-to-School Transition: Five Expert Tips for Parents After Separation

Many children will be returning to school next week, but unfortunately for some, their situations may have changed due to their parents recently separating or going through a divorce/civil partnership dissolution.

According to Grant Stephens Family Law, there has been a 21% increase in searches for ‘divorce solicitors’ in July compared to May, showing that there may be children returning to school in September with newly separated parents. 

Nia Thomas, a Family Law Solicitor and Director at Grant Stephens Family Law, offers five essential tips for parents to help their children navigate the back-to-school transition after divorce:

 Inform the School

“It’s important that you tell the school about your recent separation. This way, the school will be able to handle any upsets, be able to diffuse any conversations between curious classmates, and offer support should your child become upset.

If your child becomes upset in class, the teachers might be able to show emotional support and be able to handle any problems knowing that they’re going through something personal at home.”

Update Contact Details

“It is important that, once you let the school know, you also let them know of the other parents' contact details in case of emergencies or if needed, you remove one parent as emergency contact depending on the child arrangement order you may have in place.

You will also need to let them know of the new email address or phone number for the other parent so that they too can receive updates about school events and your child’s educational progress.

Notify the school of your child arrangements so that they know who can be expected at the school grounds during drop off and collection on any given day.”

Plan for Parents’ Evenings

“Parents’ evenings usually happen several times throughout the year, and if you’re not on good terms with your ex-partner, then you might consider booking separate parents’ evenings or coming up with an arrangement with the teacher to avoid any potential conflict.

However, there may be times that this isn’t always possible, so it’ll be best to put on a united front and remember, the parents' evening is in place for your child’s academic and personal growth, which is the most important thing.”

Coordinate on School Trips and Activities

“Your child is the most important person in all of this, and it is crucial to ensure that you’re putting them first despite any ill feeling that might be between you and your ex-partner.

Coordinate with your ex-partner to ensure that they are in the loop with any school plays, sporting events or extra-curricular activities.

While you personally may not want to see your ex-partner at these events, it could be upsetting for your child to not have both parents at their event.”

Additional costs

“There may be days where your child will come home with a permission slip and a payment request for a school trip.

You need to decide between you who is the best person to pay for this. The most logical way would be to share the cost between you.

However, if your ex-partner is paying child maintenance, there could be an argument that this includes fees for the likes of school trips and additional activities.

If you are unable to agree on how such costs are to be shared between you, you might need to consult a solicitor so that you can be further advised of your position.”